Well it's time to update the blog. It is hard to know where to start. It has been the most surreal 2 months of our lives. I imagine I am still in a bit of shock. I feel like reality sets in a little more each day for all of us. I have felt more sadness and anger than I could have imagined. I take time to grieve the loss of our family unit when those moments hit you that it no longer exists like it once used to. It has been painful, freeing, and at times overwhelming. I am so grateful to be with family, close friends and to have a support system that is truly healing me. I want my friends and family to know how grateful I am for your love and support.
One feeling that has been overwhelming at this time is the sense of peace and comfort I have felt. Even in the midst of so much emotional and physical exhaustion, I am amazed that I can actually feel so calm. One of my favorite scriptures that I used to survive those first few days on my mission in Brazil is Isaiah 41:10 &13. It has never been more real for me than through this experience.
"Fear thou not; for I am with thee: be not dismayed; for I am thy God: I will strengthen thee; yea I will help thee; yea, I will uphold thee with the right hand of my righteousness. For I the Lord thy God will hold thy right hand, saying unto thee, Fear not; I will help thee."
Watching my kids feel this deep and utter pain has been awful. There have been some hard days. I am so grateful to counselors who have coached me on how to help them. They have been my little buddies through this. They have hugged me and been there for me. I have loved playing games, doing puzzles, dancing, bowling, and wrestling with the boys more than ever. I have been able to stop and enjoy each moment and live in the present. In between laying down from exhaustion. :) The other day we were all laughing and smiling together for the first time in a long time. It was a great moment.
So I have months to catch up on and things to change on our blog. I will start at leaving San Diego and go from there.
6 comments:
Thanks for sharing this post. I especially appreciated the scripture you shared. I often wonder when times are tough for me and others - how on earth can I get through this?!? That particular scripture just says it all. We can't do it on our own! Hugs to you!
I check your blog often to see what you've been up to and was happy to see you've posted again. But I think I missed something. I tried emailing you, but I only have a super old address. Mine is therichfamily@gmail.com, if you want to drop me a line.
Whatever has happened, it seems like you are dealing with it as you always have -- with faith, optimism, and hope.
I too have no idea what happened. I hope you and your family are all well!
Você tem amigos que te amam. Um desses amigos sou eu. Estou aqui, para conversarmos e rirmos quantas vezes você quiser. Espero visitá-la em minhas próximas férias. Te amo!
That is so funny about that scripture. I remember countless times riding my bike in the rain, probably after being ditched by an investigator and I always sang the last verse of How Firm a Foundation- that was basically the theme for my mission I felt like. Anyway, I didn't know the scripture so thank you! Love ya Em, your boys are adorable!
Em, your courage and strength could be examples to anyone....thanks for being you. Love ya' tons!
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